Memory you do not want (9)

I do not know about you, but me, my memory is full of trash. Somehow it seems that the less an information is useful, the easiest it is for me to remember it. For instance I remember what Paul Newman said about popcorn at some time before 1960, a long time before he started selling popcorn. Why? Probably because I lived in Europe and I did not know what popcorn was and my curiosity was aroused, but I am also curious about lots of things that I immediately forget. There is that CD I like, but I could not tell you the titles on it; however, if I listen to any song on that CD, I know which song will follow: my memory has been working on that without any effort from me. There are books I like and I remember everything in the book 50 years later and books I like and read several times and I could not tell you what they are about: it is just like chewing gum. It means one thing: a large part of my life, my memory is on its own and stocks information I do not want for mysterious reasons. I guess I am not alone.

Then there are things that I forget because I should not know them. If a friend tells me that she is pregnant, but I should not tell anybody, I totally forget, to the extent that I am first surprised to see her later with a big belly; then I remember the conversation: it was in my memory but somewhere with a "no entry" sign.

The most difficult to get rid of is the memory of a trauma. Contrary to what the psychologists of my generation said about letting it all hang out, express yourself, and analyze it endlessly, I thing some stuff is much better covered with dust. A lot of soldiers do not want to talk about war, not for 20 years. A lot of people tortured during WWII did not speak about it for years. Very typical, I think is the book by Semprun The Long Voyage (Tusk Ivories). It was published in 1963 just 20 years after the author internment in the nazi camp of Buchenvald; and then it only describes the way to the camp and the way back. This is one of the most poignant examples I know of how memory really works.

But this way of "forgetting" the bad stuff is not recommended for children: they are entitled to the best help you can find for them.